Avoid Being an Idiot

I have been somewhat open about some of my ministry struggles and lessons here on the blog. But I haven’t gotten too personal. Haven’t pulled off too many layers. And I have always spoken of lessons I have learned.

Today is different. Here is where I have been for the last week or so and am now:

Slightly depressed. Totally confused. Feeling inadequate. Worried. Scared. Confessing sin. Wondering if their is other sin to confess. Stressed. Broken. Feeling spiritually disconnected from God. Not wanting to read Scripture. Not wanting to really pray. Doing both because I felt like I needed/had to.

I just feel like I have been in a dry place lately.

I wonder what I’m on earth to do. Wondering what is the vision God will give me for my life.

I’m feeling stretched at times. Abandoned at times. Lonely at times. Disappointed at times.

I feel broken.

And I’ve pretty much kept it to myself. And to God.

But not tonight. I finally opened up to my wife about it all tonight. She didn’t have the miracle words to make all better. She didn’t have to. Honestly, I didn’t want her to. I just wanted to talk. To share. For her to listen. And she did.

I feel like things are beginning to get better. I hope I am a better follower of Jesus because of the last week. I hope God builds me back up stronger and more effective. For His glory.

I share these things basically for one reason. Please pray for me. Thanks!

Here is an article I wrote recently for Mountain Creek’s monthly publication, The Messenger.

OK, I admit it. I am a political junkie. I need news like an addict needs crack. I visit the Drudge Report multiple times per day. I visit RealClearPolitics daily. I can use the term triangulate correctly in a sentence, and I think it would be cool to be a superdelegate. And, oh yeah, I can’t go to sleep without visiting my friends O’Reilly, Hannity, and Colmes.

There are certain candidates I really like, but they never win the primary. There are other candidates that I tolerate, and they sometimes win. And then there are the candidates whom I’d rather be tortured to death with American Idol reruns than to see elected. They seem to win a lot.

But, for as much as I love politics, there is still one thing that bothers me a lot though. And most of the time it comes from people on my own team—people I agree with on most issues. It is the belief that if we just had the right people in a governmental office to pass the right laws, then we could cure all the moral problems of our age.

Before I continue, please understand what I am not saying in this article. I am not saying that Christians should not be involved in politics. I actually wish more Christians held office. I’m not saying Christians should not fight for good laws and against bad ones. I believe we should. It is just the outsourcing to a government of the Christian’s role and responsibility in culture that gets me. It is the attitude that a bunch of rules change people’s lives, which is antithetical to the Gospel, which says that Jesus changes lives.

It plays out like this: If we could just get a law against [insert your pet moral issue here], then it would cease to be a problem. Because that worked so well when we outlawed murder and theft, right? I mean, nobody ever kills anyone or steals from anyone anymore, do they? They do, really? But we have a law against it.

The problem lies deeper than the political. The problem lies in the fact that many believe that one’s outward behavior is the end-game of the Gospel, when, in fact, the end result of the Gospel is a new heart, new life, and worship of Jesus.

 It takes the Gospel—the imparted righteousness of Jesus—to change a life. Behavior modification, while wildly popular, only masks the problem rather than addressing it. Consider Matthew 23:25-26, “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.”  Godly and moral behavior springs forth only from a transformed life. From a new heart that worships Jesus as God. Not from a law, a courtroom, or a congress.   Let’s just be honest. You can pass a constitutional amendment banning gay people from getting married, but, guess what, they will still be living in the destructive sin of homosexuality. And without repentance, grace, and putting faith in Jesus, they will still go to hell when they die. And what will our constitution do then? Same goes for any other immoral, sinful behavior. So what then shall we do? We preach and live the Gospel—that for our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21)—in humility, through relationships and biblical community. We use our resources and energy to serve this broken world with love. We pray for people who are far from Jesus. We pray that God the Father would break through their resistance and make Himself known as the one true and living God that is to be worshipped and glorified. And we trust Him to do so.  On Sunday nights this spring, the college+twentysomethings ministry is doing a series, Seek the Peace of the City, based out of Jeremiah 29:1-9. We are learning to love, serve, and pray for the communities and campuses in which we live so that the Gospel will be known and lives transformed. We are doing this because we believe the Holy Spirit of God working through a community of Jesus-followers can change the world.  Trusting in a government to do so is Jingoistic idolatry, not biblical Christianity.

So last week has been somewhat discouraging. Work at NGU has been tough. And it seems like we cannot get much traction with the college+twentysomethings ministry at Mountain Creek. So last Tuesday and Wednesday I was pretty down. Again on Sunday night.

Then God came through with some big time encouragement.

Here’s what went down”

1. There is a young man in our ministry who I felt like dropped the ball with. And he was making some poor choices and I didn’t know what to do to reach out to him. Well, God has been working in his heart and life recently. He was at church Wednesday. We got a chance to talk a bit. We went to lunch on Friday. I couldn’t have been happier.

2. Sunday night C/20 Worship Service had very few people there. Not sure why we have lost so much momentum, but I was feeling like a horrible leader and questioning a lot of myself and my role/abilities as a leader. Then, we had a time of prayer and I was so encouraged by what I heard those who were there praying. And several prayed for me. I needed that and I felt it. I couldn’t have been more grateful.

3. This morning I received a call from this guy on my way to work. We had a great conversation. He encouraged me. He affirmed some things God is doing in my life. He let me talk through a few things God is doing. He stretched my thinking. And he didn’t just pick up the phone and answer, but rather he dialed the numbers. I couldn’t have been more honored.

So in the midst of discouragement, it is good to know that God is sending encouragement my way.

Think of time you have been discouraged. How did God come through with encouragement for you? Who did he send your way?

Referencing this passage, a mentor made this comment this morning:

“I believe that God gives churches the opportunity to cross the Jordan, and that those opportunities come once every generation.”

The thought kicked me in the gut.

And left me with one haunting question. Will I be ready?

Spiritually, will I be ready to hear God’s voice?

Will I have the courage to obey? To withstand the criticism? To suffer the pain? To defy the odds in faith?

The consequences for not crossing are severe.

Will I be ready? Will you?

One of my favorite Andy Griffith episodes is when Aunt Bee makes homemade pickles. They taste so bad (”Kerosene?“) that Andy and Barney throw them away and replace them with store-bought pickles in Aunt Bee’s jars. Then they brag on how good they are.

So Aunt Bee is feeling real good about her pickle-making skills and decides to enter the Mayberry Pickle Contest. Well, Andy can’t let Aunt Bee win with store-bought pickles since that would be cheating. So they have to eat all the pickles so that Aunt Bee won’t be able to enter the contest.

But…

She makes more and enters them. And they taste terrible. Like kerosene. And because Andy and Barney and Opie liked the first batch so much, she made a double-batch this time.

The episode ends with Andy saying, “I guess will just have to do what we should’ve done from the start…learn to love ‘em,” as he takes a big ‘ol bite out of the kerosene pickle.

Life is like this sometimes. We just have to suck it up and eat the pickle.

Maybe its responding in humility when you would rather tell ‘em off.

Maybe its doing the necessary details work that you really hate, but is important.

Maybe its giving that person a call that you know you need to, but don’t like to.

Maybe its _________________ (you fill in the blank).

Sometimes you just have to do what you should have done from the start–eat the pickle.